The Park: A Child's Perspective on Loss and Resilience

 


"Mom, let's go to the park. I know you are still busy unpacking things. But our neighbors said that the park is so good. I can find many friends there."

I said it loudly, with my bark and with the button you gave me.

"Park! Park! Park!" The voice echoed around our new apartment.

You looked so annoyed. You were ignoring me, still busy with your thoughts and memories. Everything inside those boxes reminded you of him.

He was someone I used to call 'Dad.' The one who left us in the name of love. He said he loved us and didn't want to hurt us, so he chose to leave us.

At first, I didn't really understand what was going on. I was confused because he never came back home after that rainy night. And I saw you crying under your blanket. All I could do was hug you tightly that night.

And then, here we are. I know we will not be together with him anymore after you brought me here, to this new place. But your mind was still on the old one.

"Park! Park! Park!"

I kept pressing the button, craving your attention.

"Sigh..." You took a deep breath and put the photo of us back into the box.

"Okay. Let's go to the park."

You put my collar and leash on. We were ready to go.

"Yay! I will get a new friend here!" That's what I thought. I was really excited.

"Mom, look! That's the park!"

I pulled you hard and impatiently. You held me tight. You looked around, analyzing everything. Your eyes were wandering.

When you decided everything was safe, you took my collar off so I could run freely. Afterward, you went away and sat in the corner, alone.

I hesitated to leave you. But then you smiled at me, like saying "It's okay, baby." I glanced at you one more time before running to the other dogs.

So many dogs! I didn't know which one to ask to play with first. I ran around the park, my tail wagging, showing I wanted to play. Some were playing tag, others with balls, and more.

I thought playing tag would be fun. We always used to play that before. So I tried to join them. But no one chased me. They treated me like I was invisible.

I tried so hard to get their attention. I chased them, barking loudly, maybe crying a little, wagging my tail hard. But they still didn't notice me. Until I gave up and lay down.

I think I know how you felt back then, Mom. You tried so hard to get his attention. You cried, yelled, hurt yourself, and more. But you still didn't get the attention you deserved.

I turned my face to you. You looked worried about me. And you looked lonely to me. Or maybe we both were lonely in this crowded place. That's why we deserve each other.

I remember the first time we met. You begged him to take you to the shelter. You begged him to let you choose one of us. Because you said you felt lonely sometimes when he was busy with himself. He reluctantly agreed because he was tired of your nagging.

He didn't care which one you would choose. I didn't have much hope either. Because no one liked me. They said I was so naughty. So I just sat in the corner, looking at you. And then, you chose me and took me home.

Our life was so perfect. We played together. Although mostly it was just you and me without him. He only took me to the park if you asked him. But it didn't really matter.

Until a few months later, you found it strange that he started voluntarily taking me to the park. I saw him talking to that girl. But I swear, I didn't know she would take him away from us. If I had known, I would have bitten her until she lost her arm. Sorry, Mom, I couldn't protect you.

You called my name after realizing no one wanted to play with me. I walked slowly and said, "I'm sorry, Mom. I didn't make any friends today."

You smiled and put my leash on. You pulled me away, wiping your tears.

"Let's move on. At least, we have each other now. I'll make sure we live happily after this storm."

We walked quietly, leaving the park. We will always be together.

 

-uwiepuspita-

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