September 8th, 2025
Love,
Still sick but better. I could make an article and post some content. I cooked too. I cooked meatballs and tofu. Delicious!
I had a wild thought today. Because my mother said that she's worried about my condition after she dies, I thought, "What if I ended my life so she wouldn't worry?" I know it's just a crazy thought.
I know she was disappointed when I chose to resign from my job. She also didn't want to hear my reasons. She also didn't realize how crazy and dangerous my field was. She only knows that that job can guarantee my future. Who can guarantee it? No one.
I thought she would realize that when she saw the condition of the world today, but no. I mean, yes, many people can stay at that job, but not me. I wasn't strong enough to be there, mentally.
And we can't always stay in regret, right? Although I don't regret it, I always start to move forward. My psychiatrist said, "You have to focus on your goal. Don't let other people hold you back. You know it's not easy, but that's the way you chose, so keep moving."
That's it for today. See you again tomorrow if there is one.
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