I Am What I Am and the Weight of a Life That Isn’t Ours

 

Since childhood, many of us grow up with a life map already drawn by others. A good school, a respectable job, getting married at an “appropriate” age, then having children. All of it is wrapped into one big word: success. The problem is, that map often never really asks whether we actually want to walk that path.

I Am What I Am (2022) talks about this pressure in a way that feels simple yet piercing. It doesn’t scream about rebellion, but instead shows how social expectations can become a burden that slowly erodes happiness. Its characters live under demands to “be someone” according to predetermined standards, as if a life only has value when it is validated by society.

But life has never had a single standard—it isn’t a fixed variable that must be accepted without question. There is no universally agreed finish line. Even the definition of happiness we often talk about is merely the result of social agreement—not an absolute truth, and one that is still debated. Problems arise when these standards are treated like natural laws, and anyone who deviates is labeled a failure, lazy, or ungrateful.

This is where I Am What I Am feels honest. The film reminds us that it is unfair to force expectations onto a life in which we are not the main character. Someone else’s life may look successful in the eyes of society, but that does not automatically mean it is a life worth imitating. Everyone moves with their own rhythm, wounds, and desires—neatly hidden and unseen. Forcing everyone toward the same definition of success only creates collective exhaustion and a heavy illusion to carry.

This theme also echoes in Dead Talents Society. In a ghost world that should be free from worldly concerns, spirits are instead trapped once again in a system of judgment. They must have “talent,” must be popular, must stay relevant—or they will disappear. Even after death, existence is still measured by standards set by others.

Both films, despite their different genres and tones, speak about the same thing: life as a competition whose rules we never agreed to. In both the human world and the ghost world, self-worth is determined from the outside. Surviving society feels like a life-and-death struggle—even for the dead. And that is where the small tragedy happens—when someone forgets to ask what they truly want, because they are too busy fulfilling expectations until they lose their sense of self.

Perhaps true freedom is not about rejecting all demands, but about realizing that life is not a stage for fulfilling someone else’s script. We have the right to stop, to turn, or to walk slowly without feeling guilty. Because this is our life to live; others are merely observers who feel entitled to comment. In the end, there is no single standard of happiness that applies to everyone. And a good life is not one that looks successful, but one that feels honest to the person living it.

(Aluna Uwie)