Love,
How
are you today?
Do
you want to hear a good story or a bad story about me?
Maybe
we'll start with a good one. I got so many blessings today. This morning, my
neighbor gave me some food. It was delicious! I ate it for breakfast.
I
met my friend, L. I had promised to go to her archery practice. I didn't expect
her to give me so many things: bakso, noodles, snacks, cake, and more. I even
got a Tupperware for drinks! I am so grateful for everything I received today.
I
also got a seat on the train when I went to Jakarta and when I came back home.
That's a blessing too, right? Because,
you know, the train is so full, especially on weekends.
Do
you want to hear about the not-so-good things?
Maybe they're not really bad, but they make me feel burdened and
down. I wanted to share my gratitude
with my mother, but all she asked me about was a job. She asked if I'd asked my friend about job
vacancies. It made me feel complicated.
Am I
selfish if I want to live my life the way I want? Am I selfish if I want to be happy with my
life? Am I selfish if I want to make my
dreams come true? I'm not just standing
still. I'm doing my best for my life.
But why do they always tell me to take a different path, or a path they
want me to take? Why do they always pressure me? Why don't they pressure my
sister? Why is it always me?
I
told my friend that I honestly don't regret my decision to resign. But the timing just isn't as good as I
imagined it would be after the divorce.
It's just beyond my plan and expectations. So, the decision I made seems like a bad one
now. I'm so tired of my own mind.
I
was thinking about going back to my hometown next month for Idul Adha, but I
don't think I will. I just don't want to
hear any nagging from them.
I'm
so sorry, Love. It seems like I have a
lot to complain about. I just need to talk to someone.
So,
thank you, Love. See you again, if
tomorrow comes.
(Uwiepuspita)
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