Hello Love, today is Sunday, May 11, 2025.
I might start including the date in my journal entries from now on so I can easily look back on what I did on any given day. My memory has been fading lately. Is it because my trauma has erased parts of my brain? Hehe.
I made some french fries today. Do you know, I bought that bag of frozen fries a year ago because of my ex? At the time, I was trying so hard to be a good wife. Stupid of me, right? I tried to be the perfect wife, like the wives I saw in other families.
I'm not a great cook, but I wanted to learn, even though he never complimented my cooking. Actually, he never really commented on it; sometimes he wouldn't even eat it. He probably didn't want to say it was good because he didn't want me to keep cooking it and bore him.
But, I had this dream of having a beautiful family, so I tried really hard to make him happy. It was incredibly foolish. I dedicated myself to his needs and happiness, hoping that would make me happy too. I tried so hard, but I never got any appreciation.
He said he'd come home in a bad mood because he was hungry or had bad food at the office. So I'd pack him snacks to take to work, things he could eat whenever he wanted. Sometimes I'd cook them; other times, I'd buy them from a shop.
And yes, those frozen fries were for him. I never cooked them until after our divorce. Stupid, right? You can say it.
He didn't want a perfect wife; he wanted a rich wife. Without my money, I was just a miserable woman, worthless because I didn't have money. I was so blind not to see that from the beginning.
Okay, let's stop talking about that desperate part of my life. Blame it on the fries for bringing up those memories! Haha.
I've been trying to find a place to study for the IELTS exam, but it's so expensive. I think I'll study by myself and then take the test. I need to set a goal for that. I want to take the test to get more opportunities, because many places require someone who speaks and writes English fluently. My speaking is weak, but I need to strengthen the other parts of my English too, right?
Oh, today I cleaned up my Facebook friends list. I know it will reduce the number of friends I have, but I want real friends. I don't want weird people on my list. I've been getting some strange messages lately.
That's it for today. See you if there's a tomorrow.
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