Hello, my love,
I've realized I have many scars from my last relationship—physical scars that remain. They're there because, at the time, he didn't value them, and my foolish younger self didn't prioritize my own well-being. I let those scars go untreated, leaving permanent marks.
I can't dwell on the past; I must accept it and move forward, appreciating my body and myself for surviving.
Today, I saw my psychiatrist. She was surprised I'd returned after a year. I discussed my post-divorce experiences and how they've changed me. The key takeaways from our session were acceptance, focus, ignoring negativity, and healing.
I need to accept my current situation and not stay stuck in a negative place. I must focus on my goals, ignoring what others say. We can't please everyone; we must accept that some people will be dissatisfied. Most importantly, I need to heal myself.
She prescribed medication, but it's not for daily use. I should only take it when needed—when I can't control my thoughts and feelings.
I know what my issues are and how to manage them, but sometimes we need a professional to reinforce our understanding—a kind of validation. It's like knowing sugar is sweet but needing someone to confirm it.
This morning, I had jamu kunyit for breakfast. I ate lunch late, after snacks of otak-otak and nuggets (the nuggets were tough to eat!). Then I had beef black pepper with rice from Yoshinoya; that served as my dinner, so I skipped the evening meal.
I exercised on my mini stepper for 30 minutes—it was surprisingly tiring, and my feet hurt!
I accomplished everything on my schedule: exercise, doctor's appointment, buying vitamins (I only got one of the two I needed), Cetaphil, an exfoliating scrub, and silica gel (online) to store my medication. It was a productive day, wouldn't you say?
I'm trying to slow down. I took slow walks, ate slowly, and spoke slowly. From now on, I'll do things my way. If I want to scream, I will. It's not selfish; it's about living my life on my terms.
That's all for today. See you again tomorrow, if there is one.
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