Day 71 Till I Die




June 10th, 2025
 
Hello, my love,
 
I feel like I'm living in a construction zone!  Both my front and side neighbors are renovating their houses, and the noise is incredibly loud.  I have sensitive hearing, so it's incredibly overwhelming.
 
I considered going out today, but then I remembered I'm waiting for a package.  So, I decided to stay home and try to cope with the noise.
 
I wrote an article review for today's post and watched some episodes of a TV drama.  It was enjoyable.
 
I had another wave of dark thoughts today. I've heard people say they work to survive, but my survival is a daily battle against suicidal thoughts.  Please don't lecture me about suicide; I know it's wrong, and God forbids it.  But the thoughts persist, and I try my best to resist them.
 
My package finally arrived! My mother sent shrimp, rendang, malbi, kemplang, crackers (kerupuk), nastar cookies, instant noodles, and an orange. She also included a pair of pants and some money. The shrimp was slightly spoiled, so I quickly recooked and ate it all.
 
I planned to fold my laundry, but I'm exhausted from recooking everything. Maybe tomorrow. Hehehe!
 
That's all for today. See you again tomorrow, if there is one.

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